Well sports fans it’s time for me to give out grades to all of your favorite teams. The Spring 2015 season has featured a lot of new squads. I’m sure they are sitting on pins and needles right now to see where they rank. Without any further ado, I give you the MIDSEASON REPORT CARD!

BLUNT FORCE 

When I learned that All-Star Quarterback Steve Chockla would be leaving BALLZ DEEP to lead a group of new guys on a team called BLUNT FORCE, I was skeptical about the career move. Currently Chockla’s team is running through the league’s top teams including victories over DEATH ROW,  PRIMETIME, and VAPOR. Chockla’s 64.5 completion percentage and 22 TDs have resulted in BLUNT FORCE averaging 20.6 points per game. Jeremy Molinaro is quietly one of the best deep threats in the league. Also the veteran leadership that Dennis “Shor D.” Wolford and Steve Killius bring to the table is priceless.

A-

HAVOC 

By the time the playoffs arrive I expect to see the HAVOC team that I have grown accustomed to watching over the years. Unfortunately at the halfway point of the season I feel that this squad is underachieving given all of the talent on their roster. Seven-time PFFL Champion Sean Kennedy is one of the smartest players to ever play this game; however, his wisdom has not translated into victories for HAVOC whenever they are playing against elite competition. First there was the 32-6 loss to VAPOR to open the season. Then there was the 27-12 loss to PRIMETIME in Week 3. Right now none of these guys are having career years. Perhaps Kennedy should go back to center and let Dan Krchmar play QB. Just a thought.

B-

RUMBLE

This squad has the potential to make some noise in the playoffs. They’re athletic and versatile. Under the leadership of Jordan Rooney I expect this team to finish with a 6-4 regular season record. Wide Receiver Markus Allen is one of the league’s best kept secrets. His skills as a possession receiver are perfect for Rooney.

B+

LIGHTS OUT 

Predictably LIGHTS OUT is last in their division with a 1-5 record. They continue to lack consistency at the QB position. As a result they commit a lot of turnovers and take way too many sacks. Averaging just 10.8 points per game, this team will be lucky to get to .500 by the season’s end. Their lone win this season was a solid 19-6 victory over GREEN MACHINE; however, it should be noted that GREEN MACHINE is a rookie team that a veteran squad like LIGHTS OUT is supposed to be. The bottom line is that while I do not expect much from LIGHTS OUT in the playoffs, I like the way the team sticks together even if it means another losing season.

D

SMOKE 

There’s good news and bad news regarding SMOKE’s season so far: The good news is that SMOKE is leading the STEEL EAST division.The bad news is that SMOKE has more losses than wins.

Veteran QB Fred Warrell continues to complete most of his passes to talented WR Keith Jackson who is one of the league’s top receivers with 43 catches.Unfortunately the rest of the receiving corps is not playing as well as Jackson. EJ Taylor, Skylar Jaquay, and Joe Mucho all need to step their games up. Also Michael Moye and Chris Davenport need to recover from their injuries to help the defense out.

C+

CONQUEST 

CONQUEST is struggling to win games; however, with two wins already and four left to play, this team could still finish the season with a respectable record. QB Briant Thompson is not exactly Peyton Manning yet he is doing the best he can with the free agent roster that he has been given. All-Star Rusher Elliot Williams is leading the team in receptions with 28. Unfortunately, if this team decides to stay intact after the playoffs then they will need to add a more dynamic deep threat to compliment Williams.

B-

WRENIS PINCKLES 

After years of playing together these guys are still looking for an identity. Initially, Anthony Naret was the quarterback. More recently, Cory Blotzer has been at helm. Regardless of who is under center, the PINCKLES have regressed. Mike Galet, Zach Follider, and Mike Diverio are all solid flag-pullers. Unfortunately, the inefficient QB play has nullified all of their hard work. If this team keeps playing the way they are currently playing, then they will be eliminated from the first round quick, fast, and in a hurry.

D-

DECEPTICONS 

At 4-1 the DECEPTICONS are leading the most competitive division in the STEEL CONFERENCE. All-Star QB SunBear Coe is putting his team in position to win one of the top two seeds going into the playoffs. His dual-threat passing attack and knowledge of the game keeps opposing defenses honest. Underneath Dan Kaefer, back from surgery, and Jon DiMatteo are keeping drives alive with their short yardage plays. This squad is among the top scoring teams in the league, averaging 23.4 points per game. One thing is very clear about the DECEPTICONS, come playoff time no one is going to want to play them.

A

VULTUREZ 

There is no point in judging this team right now because they have been singing the same tune for as long as I can remember. They struggled during the first half of the season, then they finish the year at 6-4 or better. Maybe this team just gets bored during the first few games. Or maybe they need to lose in order to step their games up closer to playoff time. Whatever it takes, I guess? Anyway, this squad has enough veterans to go deep in the playoffs. Let’s see what they will do with the rest of year.

B

DEATH ROW 

The loss of All-Star Wide Receiver LaRoi “Franchise” Johnson has certainly affected DEATH ROW. His hands and larger than life personality was contagious for this team formerly known as the BILL GOATZ. Luckily, the team is still in position to compete for a division title anyway. All-Stars Jordan Fowler and Rick Douglas comprise one of the league’s most effective QB-WR tandems. Another huge reason why DEATH ROW is still afloat is the 38 receptions caught by big receiver Dave Bassi.

B+

STEELTOWN 

Right now this team is clicking on all cylinders. Despite reports that All-Star QB Chris Sullivan was losing arm strength in his throwing arm, the veteran has successfully lead his team to a 3-0 record. Part of the reason why this roster is so formidable is because Sullivan added former BALLZ DEEP players Jeremy Greenawalt, Eric Quinn and Steve Shrum. Throw in STEELTOWN vets Chris Conrad and Mike Miller and you have one of the best rosters in the league. Of their three victories, their showing against DEATH ROW, a 26-19 victory, was most impressive.

A

WRECKING CREW 

The defending champs have not been playing at a championship level so far this season. Averaging just under 16 points per game, this team is struggling to score points without star WR Bruce Thornton. As a result their offense has become much less lethal. Getting embarrassed by MMG 31-12 and then completely melting down against PRIMETIME 27-6 are not good omens for a team seeking to repeat as champions. Defensively, All-Stars Brandon Morgan, and Gary Jones have been underwhelming. All-Star QB Jeff Bollinger is completing 68.4% of his passes which is positive. Unfortunately, he is averaging just 1.25 TDs per game if you throw out his 5 TD game against the DARKWINGS. I know this much, WRECKING CREW will go home early this postseason if they don’t start scoring some points.

C

TUNE SQUAD 

Obviously this team should not be calling itself “TUNE SQUAD” because they lack Michael Jordan’s “secret stuff.” I’ll give this team a pass for playing in a division with experienced teams like STEELTOWN and WRECKING CREW; however, there is no excuse for averaging just 8.8 points per game. The only bright spot on this roster as far as I can see is Matt Puwalowski who leads the team in receptions with 25. Clearly this squad is going to need Jordan, Bill Murray, and all of the Looney Tunes because right now they are looking like the MONSTARS before they stole the NBA talent.

F